


Who needs an umbrella when the raindrops are my music? (Also, never forget, being quiet is better than lying.)

by imaginaryinspiration



Series: Buttercups Forgotten [5]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Parent-Child Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 06:49:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19785463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginaryinspiration/pseuds/imaginaryinspiration
Summary: Integrity was the perfect child, elegant and graceful, a dancer to the core. She flew through the air when she performed and she was not flawed in any way, emotional or physical.Or that’s what she had to make people think. That is what she believed herself. Training to be a professional dancer, she was always graceful and very skilled at ballet. Her parents made her entire life about dancing, and she not once cracked under the pressure. She never lied, she never cried, and she never (never) disobeyed. She could never.(Until she does, of course)





	Who needs an umbrella when the raindrops are my music? (Also, never forget, being quiet is better than lying.)

Integrity was the perfect child, elegant and graceful, a dancer to the core. She flew through the air when she performed and she was not flawed in any way, emotional or physical.

Or that’s what she had to make people think. That is what she believed herself. Training to be a professional dancer, she was always graceful and very skilled at ballet. Her parents made her entire life about dancing, and she not once cracked under the pressure. She never lied, she never cried, and she _never_ disobeyed. She could never. Every parent wanted Integrity to be their daughter.

So, when she messed up onstage for the first time ever, it was completely unexpected. A simple stumble that she immediately recovered from, but everyone noticed. How could anyone not notice the perfect child’s only flaw?

Her parents were _furious._ How could she mess up in front of that many people? How could she make a mistake? She was supposed to be _graceful, elegant,_ and _composed,_ not clumsy. How could she? They called her a liar, for pretending she was perfect when she was really just worthless. How _could_ she? How dare she?

Integrity cracked. For the first time ever, the perfect child was not perfect anymore. She was a _liar!_ And so she ran. She ran, and ran, and cried, and disobeyed. She had broken her parents’ trust! She clearly did not have the integrity she thought she did.

And yet, with every step she took, she became more composed. Elegant. Graceful. Like the dancer she was. She considered going back, but she knew she couldn’t face her parents after she had broken their trust. She reached a mountain, and with skilled step, leaped into the hole. She landed, surprised that this cave had flowers inside. She walked the well-worn path and continued forward, curiosity peaked.

Integrity came across many puzzles, and a building, and it looked like this place had been lived in, but there was not a soul to be found. Where was everyone? The purple walls were lined with cracks, and this place looked very old. Perhaps anyone who had lived here had died years ago? Or had moved on to somewhere different? It was no matter to her, though. She would keep going. Even as she fell through leaves, and was stumped by puzzles, she did not stumble. She could not stumble, not after her mistake at her performance.

The human child came across a house and of course, knocked before just barging in, but there seemed to be no one there and the door was unlocked. So she continued forward, through the living room, down the stairs, through the basement, and through the door to the rest of the Underground. It was… snowing? The snow would certainly ruin her ballet shoes, but she could not worry about that now. Integrity knew she had to get back to her parents. She had broken their trust by stumbling, and now even more by running away! She had to get back to them and make it up and prove she had integrity by living up to everyone’s expectations.

Integrity encountered a creature of some sort. She was surprised, but she, of course, remained composed. It was.. an ice bird, of some sort. It seemed to be approaching her, hopefully for just some friendly conversation. Through a number of puns, it asked her if she was alright. She looked tired. She…really didn’t want to lie, but she also didn’t want to worry this random monster, so she simply stayed quiet. She moved on. If there were other monsters and they were going to inquire how she was, she was going to have to stay very quiet. Because she couldn’t lie anymore. Never again. She had integrity.

Even as she saw more monsters, none inquired how she was. She knew she couldn’t show she was tired. She had to look elegant, and graceful and composed. She danced through the forest and the town, just like she had glided through her life before, seeming perfect. Because that is what she had to be.

Before long, it started getting warmer. And wetter. Soon the world around her turned blue and she was wading through water as waterfalls soaked her through. She.. actually liked it? It was fun! She’d never really had fun before. There was a new skip in Integrity’s step, now. When it started to rain, she started to dance. For once, the dancing was not a strict choreographed routine, but a free expression of her soul!

Tap, tap, tap, the raindrops went. They created a melody perfect for Integrity to dance to! She started to twirl through puddles and leap into the water. Doubles, triples, quadruple pirouettes! Who cared about her ballet shoes getting ruined! Who cared about the rain, about her getting soaked through? She glided through the air, almost flying, almost reaching the crystal covered, glowing ceiling! It was blue, blue all around her, the most wonderful color of all!

Until she saw her reflection in the water. The music in her mind came to a standstill as she looked at herself. She was soaked through, her hair a mess, her ballet shoes and tutu ruined, and she was dirty! How had she let herself get carried away like that? Stupid girl.

“Excuse me? Are you lost, young one?”

Integrity jumped and looked up. There was a large furry goat person, and next to him, a young adult human. Their piercing eyes seemed to be watching her every move. She immediately straightened her back and composed herself.

“Hello. No, I am not.”

The goat monster, Asriel, he introduced himself as, asked her what she was doing there and if she needed help. She did not. He still offered to take her to someplace warm as she looked positively drenched and she reluctantly agreed. The human, Bravery, walked along with them while they headed to what she assumed was their home. Integrity remained quiet the entire walk there, not wanting to cause either of the two newcomers to ask her about how she was doing or what she was doing here because she knew she could not lie.

When they finally got to their destination, it was a castle. She was surprised, to say the least. They walked inside and she was immediately offered a towel and a seat in front of the fireplace.As she was drying, Asriel finally asked her the question she knew he was going to ask. What was a human child like her doing in the world of monsters?

Integrity could not answer. Asriel, with great patience, offered to let her stay instead of insisting. 

“Child, there is something I must tell you. You… cannot go home. My people, and now you, are stuck underground in this world by a magical barrier. I am sorry.”

She slowly nodded. She would not show her disappointment. and with nowhere else to go, accepted his invitation to stay with him. This was a second chance, she reasoned. A second chance to be a perfect child, for another person. She could do this. She would prove to herself she had integrity, by being perfect, never lying, and never disobeying.

Asriel, surprisingly, already had a room ready for her. A spare room, he said, but this looked like a child’s room. Perhaps Bravery’s old room? There was a mirror at the end of the hall. When she saw herself, she was angered. Why had she done this? Why had she run away? Why had she broken her parents’ trust in the first place, and then disobeyed and ran away? How _could_ she? Her mother and father’s words echoed in her mind. But she composed herself, looked elegant, because this was her new chance to be a perfect child, and she would not screw it up.

Asriel was impressed by her dancing and delighted at having another child around the house. She had so far remained perfect, never crying, never lying, and never disobeying. She mostly stayed quiet. It was easier than lying, or showing any negative emotions, or worse, breaking. Living with Asriel was like a breath of fresh air. She no longer had immense amounts of pressure to be perfect or to dance professionally, but she still acted perfect. Who knew if he would turn, and become angry like her parents? She had to remain on edge.

She danced through all her problems, glided through them, just like before. She could feel herself relaxing, however, little by little. She let Asriel hug her, and she held him back, and she felt loved. She felt worthy, for the first time, and she wanted to cry she was so happy. Was this normal? Or better than normal? It had to be better, it had to be!

A year after she fell, when she was almost 15, she let herself cry for the first time since that day she messed up, the day she broke her parents’ trust. She let herself be honest instead of just being quiet. She told Asriel what happened that day, why she was Underground, and how she got there. A single tear fell down Integrity’s face. That was all, a single tear, but it was more tears than she had shed in over a year.

Going to Waterfall was a regular occurrence. That was by far her favorite place in the Underground. It was the first place she ever had fun, the first place she truly felt free. Underground held true magic, more than just monster magic. It had the magic of love and happiness, uncorrupted freedom that forced your emotions out from you. The pitter patter of rain, the glowing of crystals, the rushing of water, and the happiness of monsters brought out joys Integrity never thought she would experience and gave her memories she never could have had if she had lived out her life on the surface.

She soon started to perform again for monsters. She started out small, but word spread and more and more monsters wanted to see the new human dancing, almost creating her own magic. She loved it. It was more exhilarating than dance had ever felt to her. It was never a chore. But… with performances came memories. She was haunted by regret, and was so angry that she had broken her parents’ trust, had disobeyed, and lied. She was meant to be honest and upright, to have integrity, but she had broken. Their. Trust!

The night of the biggest performance so far was too much for her. She wanted to run, and hide, and forget herself, and it was all too much! It was too much! When Asriel came to wish her luck, she wanted to run, but she _knew_ she couldn’t break his trust too. She loved him too much, she couldn’t disobey, she couldn’t _mess up_ again. She couldn’t. She couldn’t.

Integrity’s head swam and she wanted to cry. But, no. She was perfect. She had to be the perfect child, the perfect human, for every monster to see her elegance. Her composure. Her grace. She could not showcase any of her flaws for the world to see. Not ever again. She couldn’t break everyone’s trust in her, their hopes and dreams riding on her back. So she took a deep breath and stepped onstage.

She danced beautifully. Not a single misstep, she really did showcase her perfection to her audience. But she felt so heavy. She felt like falling, not like leaping and flying through the air. There was a heaviness in her heart, in her soul, and the dancing felt just like before, on the surface, before all this.

After her performance, she immediately ran home. She was not running away, she was _not running away_. She was just running home. She would not run away, she would never break anyone’s trust ever again. She was perfect. Elegance. Composure. Grace. Integrity. That was her.

Three gentle knocks on her door startled her out of her trance. Her father came in and sat next to her.

“Hey, Integrity, you alright? You did really well out there. You should be proud of yourself.”

She thanked him.

“Is there something going on? You really seemed in a rush to get home after the performance.”

She knew she could not lie, and she was tired of staying quiet.

“Asriel? Can you tell me more about the Barrier?” But she could redirect the conversation.

He told her about how 7 human souls were needed to break the Barrier. He told her how they had 2 already, from his children from long ago, and Bravery had promised his soul for when he eventually passed.

But, for the first time, Asriel insisted that Integrity talk. “I need you to tell me what’s wrong, Integrity, I can’t help you unless you talk to me. And I want to listen to you. Please.”

And she almost broke. Almost. Almost cried. Instead, she calmly explained her emotions to him in a calm, composed, _perfect_ way. Honestly.

Another hug from Asriel, and she felt warm for the first time since she started performing again.

Over the next few weeks, Asriel’s explanation about the Barrier mulled around in her head. As she began to dance in her own free way again, trying as hard as she could to separate this expression of her soul that she loved from the memory of her parents, she promised her father the same thing the three humans before her had also promised.

And she would keep her promise. She became more sure of her decision the more she healed, and grew, and matured.

So, now, that was a promised 4.

3 left.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this is okay! I'm still a little rusty on writing since I haven't done this in a while.


End file.
